9:11

It happens that 9:11 played a bigger part in my life. I’ve always encounter this set of number almost everyday. I tend to look at my wristwatch almost every day at the very same point, which is 9:11 either it’s at the am or pm. It can be quite weird, thus sometimes I’ll casually think that it might be a sort of message or sign or something. Whatever… I don’t know. Beyond my will that I tend to purposely relate this set of number with any significant moment that happen on the date on which including the collapse of the ever so famous World Trade Center.

Or, is it only because I’m actually having an obsessive compulsive disorder which makes me look upon my wristwatch at the exact same time? It tends to be repetitive to see that number almost everyday. Weird! Surely it wasn’t deja vu because the situations meanwhile I look at my wristwatch were completely different from one another. It’s way beyond my control and I’ll suddenly realize whenever such acts already proceed. I’ve been also counting anything that’s likely physically repetitive as in for example a staircase each time I walk thru it. And I even count until 10 in repetitive manner during hand washing!

It’s really bugging me, but I can’t help myself to prevent it from continuously occurs. It could be almost anything I suppose; I also tend to read the same line (of an essay/article) again and again until I’m satisfied enough to submit to continue with the other line. This perhaps cause by my previous work as an editor which needs me to be super analytical and hyper sensitive while doing my proof reading/editing tasks.

Am I perfectionist? Well, I’m not, though some of my colleagues said that I actually am. I don’t know and I don’t care. Since years ago, that 9:11 keep bugging me up until now. That’s what really matter… and you know what? My two previous entries are being posted at 9:11, both am and pm!

What the heck on earth is that really means? Is it only by coincidence? Help is desperately needed.